Even if the rapist had broken through the door and raped someone in the house, the woman victim would have been at fault. At least partially, because “taali ek hath se nahi bajti...” If the rape victim was an infant perhaps the reason would be her parent’s non- belief in god or perhaps her stars must have been ominous. If a woman in purdah or burkha is a victim of rape, still she must be blamed. Perhaps her behavior with men was inappropriate. Perhaps, she crossed the Lakshman Rekha of her maryada. Women of this country, the message is clear. You are needed only to procreate but you have no right to love, except in a given institution. You may breathe but only in a house, not outside. You may see the streets but only in the day light. You must wear but only that which others decide to be non- provocative. Freedom is something that men give you; don’t you dare think it’s your own. If you are skeptical about what you are reading then revise your perception, for this is the code of conduct for you in the 21st century!
**
Post the Delhi rape incident, the hypocrisy and orthodoxy of the Indian society is out for all to see. Up until now if the people believed that the Indian society has shrugged off the medieval age, this is the time to re-think. The Dark Age has not yet seen the dawn of equality and freedom. It won’t be surprising if tomorrow I hear, “Why did Jyotirao Phule at all start schools for girls?” or “Why did he let Savitri bai teach in schools when women should only take care of their homes and children?”
**
Time and again some people have conveniently blamed the Western culture for the rise in gender violence. We criticize the Western culture for infiltrating the psyche of the young and spoiling the so called ‘incontaminable’ Indian culture. But which Indian culture are we talking about? Are we talking about an Indian culture which practiced sati, child marriage, widow suppression, purdah? Are we talking about the one where there has been unending caste and class division? Or are we talking about the culture that made a priest into a god/god-like authority and made the commoners, untouchables? Or may be… we are talking about a spiritual India that used to exist at a point of time of history long lost in eternity?
**
Every culture, whether Western or Eastern has its good and bad points. Every culture is an envisioned ideal. But it degenerates. People of each era need to re-look, revise and re-frame the culture to suit their own times. Indian culture and its heritage of knowledge have the potentiality and practicability to bring quality to people’s life. Its people, its sages, its uncompromising thirst for spiritual truths and its generosity towards other cultures cannot be denied. But our utter failure to hand down that living culture unto the present times is our own doing and one should not throw blame on the West alone. If we merely keep singing the glory of the past, the present will not change an iota. A song of a glorious but dead culture is good to hear and feel inspired by and nostalgic about but it is more important to wake up to the present and gauge the real circumstances and issues. It is only thus that in the context of a contemporary time an apt dynamic culture can be invented.
**
Western culture has its drawbacks but has its upside too. Democracy of thoughts and ideas, gender equality, liberty and freedom are but the product of the western thought. It is worth mentioning that at a point of time, women in Britain and Sweden, in contrast to men, had limited voting rights in the 1860s. But their society has struggled with itself to grow and evolve. However, it is also beyond doubt that the younger generation is getting influenced by the obscene side of the Western culture too. Vulgarity and the deteriorated standards of morality are being imbibed and exhibited. We are becoming more materialistic. But western culture is not solely to be blamed. A whole generation of weak parenting is also to be held responsible. Deteriorating moral standards begin within four walls and are passed on from the older to the younger and not vice versa.
**
With globalization taking every aspect of life in its stride, it is difficult to maintain the cultural divide. The cultures of the world will converge in spite of censors and our unwillingness to change. The intellectuals of this country will have to stand not to re-establish the old culture or to harp on the same old outdated mantras (solutions) to prevailing issues but rather re-invent a culture that makes sense to the rational and the spiritual. In which women will be equal participants. Such a rational and spiritual country will not bother whether it is named India or Bharat.
**
Banning co-ed schools or restricting women’s freedom and curbing live-in relationships is no solution to the crimes against women. These are regressive, repressive measures; a by product of a fearful or an orthodox mind. Besides making stringent, prohibitory, retributive, and reformative laws for the protection of women, we need an open dialogue at the micro and the macro level about gender and sex related issues. The gender specific stereotypes must be challenged. We need to reform and critique the prevailing Indian culture. We need to raise eyebrows and voices when Indian society comes up with a Sutta na mila, D.K.Bose, and songs which make derogatory remarks about women. When they find their way to our children too, are we not responsible and guilty?
**
Ironically, films that opine about women’s freedom, be it Fire or Water are met with huge opposition! We need to question things that even remotely try to subdue women in private, public or media. We also need to talk to and discuss with our young (not enforce) how moral standards can be subjective and how can moral standards affect their life and the society at large. We need to raise questions which appeal to the rationality of the young and the grown up alike. We need to ask if making some one a ‘bhaiya’ (brother) is enough to prevent rape? Is co-education the cause for rape? Or does it promote healthy relation between the genders of the same species? Is aggression gender specific to males? Can it be discouraged? Is freedom self achieved? What is freedom? Is it uninhibited indulgence or is it self dependency and self responsibility?
**
Whatever may be the answers to these questions, today the times are challenging women’s dignity and freedom. Women need to assert once again. Men need to introspect once again. And India needs to reinvent a gender-equal culture.
Nilesh P Megnani is a professor of philosophy who teaches not just the academics of his subject but the purpose of it to his students. He writes whenever he feel inspired and believes life is workable hypothesis and love, the elusive potion that might transform humanity
Connect with on neelvijayalaxmi@gmail.com
Strangely enough, two days back I had an eerie feeling while returning home and it wasn’t that late either. In over two decades of being outgoing and travelling safely, this one event shattered all that freedom and the false notion of safety. It is not the rape incident but the filth that spilled after that has brought forth the hypocrisy of our patriarchal society. If the president’s son can make sexist remarks what more could women ask for to unleash their anger. A lot needs to be done on every level because it appears that we have to start from scratch and build a new society.
An eye opener, provokes re-thinking on women’s position in the society- ones own mother, sister, wife, daughter……
Very true, vidhi. We need to begin the change.
Its”s so damn true. The article is an eye opener. There are so many controversies attached to females’ position in India …either they come off as a fanatic feminist or a submissive doll. When someone crazy like me raise her voice to oppose these conventions we are told ‘ You must learn to speak like a woman first’ Now what’s that suppose to mean ???… men are allowed to raise their voice, be rude and lose their dignity at any given time????
The problem is we’ve never learnt to strike a balance between fighting for rights and justifying the protest.. More than being angry, we must be ashamed at ourselves. These slut walks and different styles of protest display anger and nothing more. a reformation from within has to happen. If daughters are being told to dress well and be more cautious, sons should be instilled with respect for women too. this isn’t about equal freedom all the way.. it is also about equal value being instilled in every child while growing up.. If a father does not treat his childs mother well, the son is going to be no different. The problem lies in our behavior too. As Vidhi said, i too feel unsafe at times. And our society has been nothing but shameless about the Delhi Rape case. Soon, there will be a day when even the men inside the house will begin to feel unsafe not because they’re rapists but because they’re not enough to save women from the animals living in this society. At the end of it all, this society will continue to remain shameless, we will continue to be angry. And this world will fall to the lowest level of negligence.
Thanks Meena and Shreeja for reading. We all need to participate in this process of change.
Kanchan you are true, but ya we will have to struggle through this nonetheless. I believe in all of us.
Nilesh, I firmly agree with your thought that deteriorating moral standards with in four walls are to be blamed rather than western culture or any other factors.It’s really true that such deteriorating moral standards are passed on from older to younger. parents need to have good ethics in their life so that they can give the same to their children and contribute thus, to make a society crimeless.
Thank you, Alka for reading and responding. We all are participants to this change.