Doesn’t a joke fall flat when you tell it and laugh at it before anyone else does, then with everyone and after everyone has stopped? But yes, Seth MacFarlene has an infectious smile. Very.. infact. He can dance. He can sing. Can he host the Oscars? Well, ho and hum. Give us a minute. Also boob jokes, really Mr MacFarlene? Just where were you looking for inspiration while writing the gags? Most  sexist jokes they say, must be taken in a good spirit so we will move on. Maybe it was a self-fulfilling prophecy but the fears of Captain Kirk in a futuristic space ship may not have been unfounded. The host left a lot of wishful thinking in his wake about Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, two of the most infallible live talents in the business. I also kept wondering why just because we are watching the show in India should we be forced to watch  the utterly uncharismatic Anupama Chopra on the red carpet. She asked academic, rehearsed questions in a shrill, sing song voice that did nothing for us or for her and just a casual comparison with the Hollywood hosts who followed, showed us that red carpet journalism is about spontaneous wit and landing on your feet with every question and retort. Nope, not everyone can do it. 

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And isn’t the Oscar’s opening meant to be  a ”take your breath away, no holds barred, suspend your disbelief and fall in love with the magic of movies all over again,” kinda experience?  Sorry, this one was like walking into a crystal ball room in your pyjamas . And Mel Gibson jokes? Really? Again after all these years? And we did not even have Angelina Jolie’s leg to liven up the proceedings like last time! And was I the only one who cringed and felt a twinge for the utterly beautiful and gifted Jean Dujardin when  the host made fun of his absence from the movies after his big win last year? I missed Billy Crystal so. His genial, crinkled gaze that laughs at the oddities of fame but never really belittles achievement. I missed Whoopi Goldberg so. Because no matter what she does, it never sounds badly rehearsed. 
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What the Oscars are about  in  the end are however uplifting,transcendent moments of pure magic and human brilliance. And in the worst of shows, there come those moments that make you catch your breath and worship the Gods that sing, breathe and create cinema. So Dame Shirley Bassey arrived to salvage things and hell yes, she took us beyond Bond, beyond the walls of the packed to the rafters theatre, beyond what we think a human voice can do. Oh. My. God. And Adele (despite the uneven acoustics). And Barbra Streisand with shiver inducing memories of Marvin Hamlisch and The Way We  Were.  And Jennifer Hudson who can start  a fire, a storm and a flood all together with her voice but could not win American Idol because Simon Cowell thought she oversang everything!  And Norah Jones. And the Les Miserables  ensemble that brought me to tears with its passion and flawless soul timbre and reminded me why watching the many versions of Chikni Chameli in our sponsored award shows, will never match up to what even the worst of  Oscar shows manage to do. Connect you to cinema’s power and sway over the human mind and imagination.  
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Though, it was somehow hard to get by the fact that while hosts get endless amount of time to crack joyless  jokes, the real heroes of the night, the winners are drowned out by a rude soundtrack from Jaws. Also would any of the A-listers be hustled off the podium like the winners of the Documentary (Feature) were?
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And just when things were slowing down, you saw Best Supporting Actor Christoph Waltz on stage, bowing down to the gold dusted legends in his category, his consummate acting smarts leashed in and inner founts of warmth and generosity spilling over. And the heart in the mouth moment when you saw the sublime Irrfan Khan, our Irrfan Khan on screen taking a long moment to talk about goodbyes. Aniston magnificent in her radiance and her Valentino gown. The painfully young but formidably gifted Jennifer Lawrence stumbling in hers on her way to immortality.  The classy Mr Plummer. Heartfelt  gratitude and love  for  husbands and wives and sleeping children in other continents. Well earned respect given to technicians and envelop pushers. The diabolic infectiousness of Tarantino. And a moving tribute paid to the departed. The life lessons from Ben Affleck, “Work harder than you think you possibly can. Don’t hold grudges. And does not matter how many times life knocks you down, what matters is that you get up!”  Best Actor winner Daniel Day Lewis who was both tears and joy on the stage and so beautiful to hear. 
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And between all the unreal glamour and breathless big winners was the little triumph of Inocente, the incredible  true story of a homeless San Diego teen who  became the subject of a  documentary (Short) directed by Sean Fine and Andrea Nix Fine. The fact that the makers brought Izucar, the young girl, (now 19 and self-dependent) on stage with them, and asked for support for kids like her reminded us just how much good art can do.  And the moving speech of  Best Foreign Film Director Michael Haneke whose own 30-year-old love story with his wife is no less magical than his Oscar winning film Amour, a moving tale about ageing and deathless love.
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And the Best Picture Award may have gone to another American perspective about terror, what redeemed it all was the inclusive speech of Chris Terrio, the winner of Best Adapted Screenplay (Argo) who acknowledged terror as a global reality, be it in the US, Canada or Iran.
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Ang Lee with Life Of Pi encompassing the creative energies of over 3000 people from various countries including India finally represented what the movies are really about. Creative partnerships across languages, cultures to create  inclusive narratives. Not just about one country  but the world that despite its politics and divisions finds ways to unite through writing, cinema, music and art. Namaste to you too, Mr Lee.
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Reema Moudgil has been writing on art, theatre, cinema, music, gender issues, architecture and more in leading newspapers and magazines since 1994.  Her first novel Perfect Eight ((http://www.flipkart.com/perfect-eight-9380032870/p/itmdf87fpkhszfkb?pid=9789380032870&_l=A0vO9n9FWsBsMJKAKw47rw–&_r=dyRavyz2qKxOF7Yuc )won her an award from the Public Relations Council of India in association with Bangalore University. She also edited Chicken Soup for Indian Woman’s Soul and runs  unboxedwriters.com.  She has exhibited her paintings in Bangalore and New York,  taught media studies to post graduates and hosts a daily ghazal show Andaz-e-Bayan on Radio Falak (WorldSpace).