I Googled “Love is” sometime ago, and got some pretty interesting answers!  But none of them were mine, my answer…

Ever since I heard that wise quote that, if you cant explain something in one line, you probably haven’t understood it well enough, I’ve been wondering how I could define ‘Love’ in one sentence…

Love, is no stranger to me… I have contemplated on what it is all about, for decades now… Initially, I thought it was about sacrifice… then it meant pleasing others… then it meant obsessively worrying about someone… then it meant being there for, and supporting someone… then it meant sharing… and then a few more!

And though, I still believe love is all this, and the few more things, something still felt incomplete… as if there is a deeper meaning, the very essence of the word that I am missing…

Until recently… Because now I know, that ‘Love is… about feeling safe’ … as simple and as profound as that!

It is about feeling safe… the primal human instinct (as per Maslow’s hierarchy too).

Safe to be oneself, safe to express, safe to ask, to be vulnerable, to act stupid and silly, to annoy.. and safe to love, trust, and accept… safe to share our time, our desires, our dreams, our fears, our weaknesses – and yet be one hundred percent sure that we will be loved, no matter what!

So in that sense, it is about true freedom – pure, unadulterated joy of being who you are!

It is no wonder then, that many of us don’t feel very connected to our parents, in the sense that, we do love them… but mostly out of reverence, duty, obligation, fear, need… which is not to say that a love based on all these is invalid, or useless or lower in quality… Yet, we all find that we often feel more at home, more connected with our friends, siblings or lovers. This is because, we are able to be ourselves with them, while there is a natural need to suppress and conform with our parents.

Please note the word ‘mostly’, because I know that there are some of us who feel exactly the reverse.. they feel more connected with their families, rather than friends. And that is exactly my point – it is not about who, it is about how we feel when we are with them .

 

Sindhu Ramachandran is an engineer but with a passion for people and learning, found her calling in the domains of human behaviour and connection. What followed is an eight-year research into ‘Intentions of Human Behaviour’ which has now morphed into a project called “Simplifying Life!” Deeply spiritual in her outlook, she is an avid reader, an amateur documentary-film maker and very interested in mystical sciences, besides dabbling in writing when inspired by the environment around her!