Have you ever wondered why dumb-blond jokes are only about women? The truth is, there are lots of men out there who (even if their hair is jet black) have decidedly blond roots. You may not notice at first because love isn’t just blind, it’s deaf too. But after your hormones have calmed down, you may discover that his response to most things anyone says is ‘Duh’. Here are a few signs to alert you that his upper storey has a To Let sign. And tips on whether to leave him or not.
1. If his family eye doctor doesn’t give him the alphabet chart to read.
Panic: He won’t be able to help your child with homework or consult your shopping list while you’re slaving at the office.
2. If he got into college on a sports scholarship.
Don’t panic: He may get by beautifully if he takes up sports professionally- particularly cricket! The best part is, he’ll never say duh in public again because smart copywriters and PR agents will write all his lines for him.
3. If he frequently mistakes Frisbees for UFO’s.
Don’t panic: Lots of people in America make the same mistake. If you really love him, get a green card and live in small town America where he can blend in.
4. If the most challenging thing he’s ever done in his life is eat over 500 panipuris at one sitting.
Don’t panic: Encourage him to eat more to enter the Guinness Book of World Records. And hey, keep your passport ready, because he’ll definitely be invited to participate in international beer-drinking and pie-eating contests.
5. If he wonders why you’re frightened of a cockroach even though it’s much smaller than you.
Don’t just panic, run: He’s obviously much dumber than you thought.
Tooooo Good! Especially the part about the green card and small town America … too darn true! I got my daughter a haircut for $3 and gave the lady at the counter a $5 note and a discount coupon for $1.50 (in small town Ohio). The poor women went crazy trying to figure out just how much change she needed to give me back … but maybe I should write a piece myself on that 🙂
I feel your pain. Have just watched MasterChef USA and I’m horrified!