Selfishness is good? Am I out of my mind? Well, yes… I finally am out of my mind, after years and years of letting it do all the hard work! Our mind is a funny companion – always testing, criticizing, doubting, fearing, limiting and assuming!
But then nothing in nature is useless or extra. Everything has its place.
So before I go off on my one of my free association trips I call ‘wandering wonderings’, one of the things I’ve learnt recently is that, selfishness is good. We human beings are selfish by nature – we cannot survive without being selfish. We cannot keep giving and sharing anything, starting from something as basic as food or water, forever, without keeping some aside for ourselves. If we don’t, we may not last long to continue giving or sharing! There is no other option, but to be ‘selfish’ if we are to survive. By our very basic nature, we have to take care of ourselves first, to take care of others (try helping others when you have high fever!).
Where we got confused probably is when we combine self love with greed and fear!
Selfishness combined with greed and/or fear can be devastating. This is when we take care of ourselves at the cost of others, by harming others or ignoring others. And of course, like they say, too much of anything is bad!
But what I am talking about is the pure value of selfishness. We are all here to live our own journeys – to learn, to feel and experience. And because the best way to learn and experience, is through relationships, we were all given parents, families, friends and strangers! Therefore, as much as we may want to help, share and sacrifice, ultimately if it comes in the way of our learning – it is unnecessary, or rest assured that there is at least one better way to do it!
There is nothing wrong, bad or immoral in taking care of yourself, if not on first, at least on second priority. But ignoring yourself and your needs, opinions, feelings and desires, thinking that they are invalid or not important, is really not necessary. It is not the best way to live your life. And you don’t have to believe this… it’s just easier if you do.
In fact if you see, there is a certain selfishness in thinking that selfishness is bad! Are you trying to score points with God? Or setting up a bargain with the Universe or others?
I don’t know too much, but I know that I love and respect my journey and my soul too much, to feel guilty about taking care of myself – my dreams, my vision, my desires – no matter what people call me. My spiritual growth is my responsibility. So is yours.
Sindhu Ramachandran is an engineer but with a passion for people and learning, found her calling in the domains of human behaviour and connection. What followed is an eight-year research into ‘Intentions of Human Behaviour’ which has now morphed into a project called “Simplifying Life!” Deeply spiritual in her outlook, she is an avid reader, an amateur documentary-film maker and very interested in mystical sciences, besides dabbling in writing when inspired by the environment around her!