These days social media or messaging services are often used as a method of sharing an invitation or for conveying greetings (birthday/marriage/first child et etc). We know so many people now that sending a personal invite to each one is not feasible. The world is fast paced and there just isn’t enough time.Not ignoring the fact that it is so cost effective.
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So if it’s a ..
Dinner Invite – Make a group on Whatsapp or better still just mass message.
Wedding Invite – Create an event on Facebook.
Kids pictures – upload them on Instagram.
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So much to share, so many friends and such little effort required to stay connected. There was a time when I had only five friends, one best friend, one close friend, one ’emergency’ friend. Two acquaintances.
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Today, I have Three Hundred and Sixty Eight friends, and that’s just on Facebook. I am also lonelier than I have ever been in my life. I was talking to this girl from my fitness class and she said long distance is easier now, you know with Whatsapp and everything. She and her fiancé are well connected. She is confident they will make it through the perils of a long distance relationship. Technology to the rescue. And so I do appreciate everything it does for us. I do not say do away with it completely.
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I turned 26 two weeks back and I had so many messages on all sorts of networks and unlike all the years gone by, this year I painstakingly answered every one of those. Not just a mass thank you. BUT…something was amiss. Now I am aware of the call rates and how they can burn a hole in one’s pocket, so I understand the friends who are abroad resorting to just messaging me. BUT…Here’s a Surprising Statistic – I got the maximum number of calls from people who are not in the same country as I am and maximum number of messages from people who live in the same city.
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This got me thinking. Have relationships become so hollow that we cannot pick up the phone and call someone and wish them? The call barely costs anything so I know it’s not about the money. It’s all about the effort. Are we no longer worth the effort? A few years back…I did not even know so many people’s birthday, today my faithful Facebook reminds me every day(if I have not wished you on your birthday, it’s because I did not log into Facebook that day).
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A few years back… I had to rely on my memory to remember an important date. And my memory almost never failed me, because every friend’s birthday was an occasion. A celebration. Now, it’s a notification!
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Like in my childhood, I still have very few friends. Back then it was because I had so many rules and restrictions to do with socializing and such little exposure.Today, it is because of over exposure. I know so many details in all my friends’ lives (where they went, with whom, what they ate). BUT… I am barely ever able to make a connection.
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This is what normal conversations (Face to Face) sounds like:
Me: What’s happening? What have you been up to?
Friend: Oh nothing much. The usual. You?
Me: Oh nothing. Work-Home-Work.
Our Facebook conversations though are riddled with smart comments, likes and links.
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I got a call from a profound friend on my birthday. The clock had not struck 12 then. I knew we were in different Time Zones, it was late for her already. I heard her voice over the phone, it was my first birthday wish. And just like that tears welled up in my eyes. I longed for that closeness we shared. Those once a month evenings we had, where we filled each other on all details called life. Just to hear the sound of her voice, the fact that we don’t chat every day and we don’t share stuff everyday but I know in my heart that on that one day, once a year, she will stay up. Because I am worth it. Because our friendship is worth it.
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In the last one year I have heard more claims of “Zahra, you are one of my closest friends” than I have all my life. In the last one year I have lost more friends than I have all my life.
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As another year bites the dust, I sincerely wish, ‘May the requirements of the Internet package on my smart phone be inversely proportional to the number of REAL friends I make’.
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Zahra Husain likes to live and think in ways she is not supposed to and she blogs at http://www.zahrasays.com