Through a splitting headache and waves of shock, the snapshots come back. But it is too early to write them down in past tense. Too early to say anything except that death puts it all into perspective. It reveals just how pointless is the negativity, the greed, the competitiveness, the toxic energy and ingratitude that we bring to our daily interactions with life. It really doesn’t matter in the end how many bylines we had, what our CVs say, who fawned over us, who we fawned over because we leave behind no tangible trace of us except in the way we affected the lives of others.
**
Vijay Nair was a writer of many books, a playwright with a career you will be able to trace the imprints of when you Google his name but it would be hard to sum up the man that he was. The husband and father, the friend, the mentor that he was. His wife Dipti is my friend and so was he. I know that a lot of writers, young and established who interacted with him have their gratitude tales but I met him at a time when the reality of the Indian publishing industry had debilitated the writer in me. I had just left a job that I thought I was going to grow old with and I could not see a road map to some place eternally happy. Dipti and Vijay had witnessed some of this and I was invited to their home many times. What I saw was eye opening. Vijay would invite other writers for an evening at his home but he never spoke about his work. His achievements. He was a gentleman and yet a strong minded individual with honest opinions but he was never intentionally hurtful or unkind. And both he and Dipti were tirelessly hospitable. I remember being sent home after one evening at their home with a dabba full of subzi he had cooked for his family and guests.
**
He also conducted workshops for young writers and invited me twice as a guest speaker. He doesn’t know this but those two experiences helped me a lot to rebuild that part within that had begun to associate my first book with a publishing failure. He always introduced me to his students in a manner that reminded me that success was not always about how many copies your book has sold. He had actually read my book. He said aloud what he liked about it. What he disagreed with. And always, there was a deep undercurrent of respect that both humbled and surprised me because I do not know too many writers who invest time and energy building other writers up. He did that not just with me but with many other writers. That is why his book launches always overflowed with writers and legions of friends and unadulterated goodwill.
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And always he would bid me goodbye with a discreet envelope filled with my workshop fee though I would have spoken for free. He often commented on pieces that I wrote. He was affected by everything like all writers are and nothing was ever just about him. He saw the big picture beyond his ego.
**
You could ask him for anything. For a recommendation. A critique. For help. I also put many of his pieces on Unboxed Writers and he always told me to take what I wanted from his blog, no questions asked. He was a staunch friend and an unapologetic feminist and nothing made him angrier than women and children being mistreated. He was livid when my son was mistreated at his last school and dashed a letter on my behalf to someone he knew in the management. He came home too once with Dipti and their son Dhruv and it was one of the most memorable evenings of my life because he was so full of appreciation and laughter.
**
He loved life, he loved films, theatre, writing and most of all, he loved his family.
This part I cannot yet dwell over. It is too painful. I cannot imagine what they are feeling now. And I can’t believe this is the end. How can this abrupt interruption be an end? This is just the end of Chapter One.
**
There is much more to follow. The whole book. Many more books. Some place we will meet one day. Till then, thank you Vijay Nair. And see you on the other side.
Can’t tell you how sorry I am for your loss and the greater loss, of this lovely sounding life. May he rest in peace and may you find solace. It is a lovely tribute
Very sorry for your loss.
Reema, I just read one of his posts on Unboxed and now he’s gone? I’m so sorry for your loss. He sounds like an amazing human being. I think you are like him in some ways, in that you lift and build other writers up. God bless!