I saw a dried leaf rolling over a lush green patch of grass, cracked along its bent spinal cord, edges falling into pieces across the length of the grass. It disappeared somewhere , probably on its path along with the wind, that too might have travelled across vast patches of land, sea and mountains. At the same time, a Feeling , which had been born tender inside me a long ago, was breathing its last. The Feeling, which was conceived by a lovely pair together.  Emotion and Fate.

The Emotion of love, so intense, that it thrived with my every breath, acquiring such depths within, that it reflected in my eyes, every time I saw myself in the mirror. Emotion. Deeply marked by Fate. But even Fate couldn’t conquer the deep rooted Emotion inked across my heart.  I wish though that Emotion had learned the rough lessons of practicality. If  you love the beautiful rain, it does not necessarily mean, that the rain won’t splash a fresh paint of muddy brown over your peaceful white. Loving the thundering rain, is inclusive of the brown splatter, of sneezing the cold out, or of healing the sharp wounds made by the hailstones.

But the gender of Emotions, isn’t as wise as the gender of Thoughts. So this Feeling, made me buy roses, just to smell and watch the soft red of love, through the sleepless nights. It made me write ‘LOVE’, again and again over the wet sand, after watching it being washed away by the splashing ocean. It made my heart so very nervous, made my hands ice cold, made my feet tremble, and my mind, dream.

As the Feeling stirred its head out of the shell, it was now ready to take off into the bright sky, of hope and happiness. I was afraid of the heights, but feelings fear none. The Feeling spread her wings and flew into the wind and the warmth of the beaming sun, taking me along on her wings. I chuckled as light wisps of love ruffled my hair, made me smile , then laughed out aloud as the clouds cradled me.

But the clouds also range from the shades of cotton white to drizzling black. As the cloud rocked me back and forth, I tried to hold the Feeling steady in the now darkening sky. The beaming sun closed its eyes and the clouds turned smoky black. Within moments it started to drizzle and there I stood with wet stooping roses in hand, the LOVE washed away by the waves, dissolving into the rain. Watching my dreams burn in the lightening and my heart, crashing down with the thunder. As I sat shivering in the rain on the mushy earth, embracing my Feeling, nobody noticed our tears and so nobody could wipe them off. By the time the season of Rain had come to an end and the Season of Spring dawned upon us, I was back on my feet.

And had learnt an important lesson that stormy night. That one must start upon a journey only if the path leading back from the destination is etched bold and clear in the mind. The path of love that led me into the clouds had abandoned me right there in the open sky. I had walked my way up, without leaving any footprints to walk back on. I realized this only when I landed upon my face, right at the point from where I had started my flight upwards.

As for the Feeling, I walked holding her hand all over again through all the happiness she had given me throughout her life and experienced a very important ritual. First the beginning, then the end. Today when the Feeling is about to leave my hand forever, I can close her eyes in peace, smile, remember the tender beginning and all the magical moments we had spent together.

Just like the rolling dry leaf, like the wind. I let my Feeling go away with them. On her journey to Oblivion.

Eshani Sathe is a student, a Kathak dancer, a blogger and celebrates her passionate connect with life by writing endlessly, tirelessly.