The Terror Of Uncertainty

I wish the world had ended in December 2012. The cause for this pessimism is the recent terrorist attack that hit Nairobi. To sum it up, for those who haven’t been in the loop, militants attacked this plush mall, Westgate, in the heart of the city with bombs, grenades and subsequent firing. The cause? As illogical and inane as any other terrorist attack. To avenge the Kenyan troops that invaded Somalia in 2011! Apparently, the extremists were also tweeting while the attack was happening with one of them tweeting, “The attack at #WestgateMall is just a very tiny fraction of what we in Somalia experience at the hands of Kenyan invaders”.

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This elicited a personal reaction from me because someone dear passed away in that attack…and she left behind a mourning family comprising her husband and little children aged 14 and 10 respectively and an extended family of  many. With teary eyes, I recall how I had met my aunt – the cousin who my mother grew up with – for the first time three years ago in Nairobi. Her family not only took us out for dinner, but to the best place in town and she further displayed her affection with a gift of love. Still reeling under the shock, I’m thinking of her loved ones and how, with what Herculean strength will they undertake this task of coping if that is ever possible. She was a working mother who deftly managed work and home, simultaneously undertaking competitive exams, and always keen on updating her knowledge because she loved to study and do new things. Despite being so remotely connected with her, I feel the tremors of her loss, I cannot even start to imagine what kind of a life will her family live now. And more importantly, she did not deserve an end like this. Nobody does.

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This is why I wish the whole world had been wiped out in one apocalyptic moment in 2012. At least that way we would’ve had the time to meet our dear ones with foreknowledge, be in the same space as them and fully express our love knowing this is the last chance we had. We now live in fear of a bomb ticking anywhere we go – a mall, a crowded local train, a desolate taxi even, a subway,  our offices, a popular eatery. Danger lurks everywhere and no place in the world is deemed safe. We live in fear and I am convinced that I have driven myself nuts with the number of times in a day I may have been suspicious of being around a time bomb…because the only thing I fear most is dying in a bomb blast. Without knowing it’s coming, without seeing the faces of my family and friends, without taking that last deep breath, and without saying ‘I love you’ to those I love.

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Who can stop terrorism? No one. How can it be stopped? No one knows. If nothing, it has increased over the years with terrorists becoming stronger by the day. More tech-savvy, better equipped, more trained and getting cleverer at blending with the rest of us. It is no longer possible to typecast them for they may be one of us. We all shrug with no answer to this. Perhaps the only conclusion that we automatically derive because we are conditioned to is that it’s best to spend all the time that you have in being around the ones who matter the most to you and make the most of every human interaction. But is that the only conclusion?

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Vidhi Salla is writer, blogger, movie buff and traveller. She  writes movie reviews and also contributes informative travel articles to websites. She gave up a lucrative corporate career to pursue creative writing, that she strongly believes is her calling.