“Quit your job, sit at home and hunt for another one. Every part of your soul which seemed lost will come back to you. No need to hunt for it,” was my brother’s response when I brought up ‘Soul Searching’.
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He’s right, right to an extent that it can be used as a ‘quotable quote’ in one of those self-healing or motivation workshops. And if these workshops need a live example, Je suis la.
So far I have searched for my soul thrice – not that my life or my visage bears any close resemblance to Voldemort who cut his soul into seven pieces and hid them in historical artefacts to remain immortal – and it was the third time that I was reassured that my soul was where it is supposed to be, right within me and not anywhere else but the three sabbaticals that I took opened my eyes wider to the world. Let me give you a very brief insight into these ‘self-imposed breaks’.
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I finished b-school and I started working for a leading radio station. I had a great job, a great boss, a great pay and a great life. Two and a half years of this greatness had made me secure and confident and that’s when I decided to venture into the wild. I quit my job without having another one in hand. I desired a break and I got one much against the opinions that my family and my boss housed. I made lots of plans, executed some, failed at some yet what kept me sane was the financial planning that I was adept with. I was the ant from the ‘ant and the grasshopper’. I had stored for the rainy day and I was warm. But like any ant I was running short of my stock and I had to get back to the field. That’s when my second job happened.
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I lasted there for six months. Not my fault. I went in during a time when the organisation was a little confused about the domain they had hired some of us to work for. Six months and I figured that drastic changes might shut that department forever hence I quit. There again, I had saved. I had become a robust ant.
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The third job happened and I stuck around for longer i.e. 2 and a half years. My 20’s were soon depleting but I did not feel secure. I had made new friends, I had evolved, I had finished a few ‘phases’, was going through a few and this time around I quit as I felt I was more secure at home. I made a jump, without a rope.
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It felt great. The fresh air that I breathed was a harbinger of fresh hopes. I had wind beneath my wings (I still do) and I pranced better than a deer. But prancing and flying would not help me make my ends meet. I needed a job and a secure one at that. While at the helm of making my choices to frame my future, what has intrigued me is the reinforced faith in me by people I love and the absence of those who were once upon a time inseparable.
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My family has always been supportive of every decision that I have taken. They know that I will find a way out of this sabbatical and I am only waiting for the right opportunity. My friends have stood by me, encouraging me whenever I felt low, recommending companies, jobs and people. Some have gone to the extent of putting a kind word on my behalf to people who might matter the most in my job hunt.
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Relatives hemmed hawed and left. I couldn’t explain what I was looking for nor did I want them to understand anything but it’s the inseparable ones whose absence left a lasting impression on my soul.
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I am no longer a part of their weekend plans nor am I on their speed dials. ‘I have been busy’ is a lame excuse I receive despite the visible display of pseudo weekend shenanigans on social networking sites. Peer pressure has never affected me nor have I lived my life to please anybody else. I don’t feel the necessity to harp about my weekday or weekend activities on a ‘Wall’ to make myself visible to people. This was a sabbatical which wasn’t planned and till I find another source of income, I may not visit the usual restaurants that I frequented and if I am being judged by these acts of mine then I must say, you’re judging too soon.
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Pain beyond a point makes one immune to pain itself and I have reached a point where lightning by a passing cloud barely gives me a scratch leave alone a wound.
It is me today; it could be you tomorrow in a sabbatical. What helps is to know who your friends are and who aren’t. Spring clean the phone list, check if you have compromised on your values and if you have been successful in keeping your sanity intact despite adversities and disloyalty and then sit back and relax for you don’t have to search for your soul. It is there where it has to be, right where it belongs. Within. Oh and you’ll get a job too.
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A Libran, Rashmi Ramachandra dotes on her morning cup of coffee. The family’s official juke box, Rashmi is a trained classical singer, an MBA in Marketing and HR who very soon found out that radio was her actual calling as it kept her close to the one thing that she loves the most – Music. A huge Harry Potter fan, she is trying to create a broomless version of the quidditch. ‘Life is too precious to complicate’ is what she lives by.