The Illusion Of Fame

Dear God, how time flies. Kumar Gaurav, of melting , caramel eyes and bee-stung lips and the signature blue jeans and red jacket that he wore along with the coolest vibe we had seen a young hero sport in the 80s, for a while atleast, is in his mid 50s! I watch him sometimes in YouTube grabs from films like Lovers, Romance, Naam , Love Story and remember what it was like to be a teenager and collect his posters (Sun magazine had released his life-sized poster in two parts…denim clad legs first and then the torso!) . I remember how cathartic it was to cry every time he pouted at the camera with a heart-felt, “Yaad Aa Rahi Hai.” Decades later I saw him and his daughter Saatchi walk the ramp for a cause in Mumbai and let out a deep sigh of resignation.  Time changes and it changes people, unsparingly and without exception.

Poonam Dhillon who once gave us style lessons with her fitted jeans, long, flowing tresses and girly dresses, who jogged to RD Burman’s tunes with Kumar Gaurav in Teri Kasam, died for the love of Sunny Deol in Sohni Mahiwal, sang a Gulzar song on a bike in Basera, swam like a mermaid in Samundar, was the sweetest thing God had made on earth as she sang, Yeh Wada Raha in the film of the same name… is now playing a mother-in-law draped in heavy sarees on TV.

Padmini Kolhapure and Rati Agnihotri, the dream girls of the 80s are either playing screen mothers or staying away from lime light for long periods. Yes, it is all ephemeral. Trends. Fame. Glamour.

People who grace our film screens and make us catch our breath also grow old. A recent picture of old friends Waheeda Rehman, Sadhna, Nanda and Helen reminded me just who these women once were. Iconic actors who lit up the screen with their youth, their blinding beauty and grace. And yet, time did not spare them either.

Many years ago as a rookie reporter, I had met Waheeda Rehman at her Bangalore bungalow and she had emphasised the importance of  growing older gracefully and she herself was a fitting proof of that statement. Her hair was grey, her face unaltered by surgical interventions  but still glowing because as she disarmingly shared, “I always moisturise my skin!” And had good naturedly talked about Dev Saab whose heroines got younger as he got older!

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That is the point, I guess of dealing with any kind of change. When you know you can’t change back to a time long gone, you should move on to the next phase and enjoy what it brings. Waheeda ji had by now raised two kids, lived a long and happy marriage, faced widowhood, started a breakfast cereal brand and was ready to move to Mumbai to start the next phase of her life. There was an equanimity about her, an acceptance and yet no resignation. She still commanded attention and without any effort to seek it. Perhaps when you know who you are within, the exterior  doesn’t matter.

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As the Velveteen Rabbit says, “Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” It takes a lifetime to be real and those who recognise your authenticity will love you despite your age spots and your wrinkles. And no matter what they say, beauty is not a designer dress, a botoxed forehead, nipped and tucked tummies and face lifts.

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How insecure and pressured must be perfectly good looking women in show business who  use drastic methods to change their faces and bodies to fit into some vague concept of camera friendly perfection.

Everytime a stereotype about success, beauty and perfection is floated in the media by a celebrity, it has a ripple effect and people buy into an illusion they cannot ever reach. The illusion that success is impervious to scrutiny. That somehow money and glamour entitle people to make rude, insensitive statements.  And so  there was Kajol screeching on Koffee With Karan, “I don’t look poor. I look rich. Me with my rings that can buy a few people..their houses over.” She was responding to the query about why she is always playing safe with her roles. So what she basically meant is that she is cut out to play only elitist roles because, she is well..elitist. While people like Balraj Sahni (Garam Hawa, Do Beegha Zameen), Nargis (Mother India), Shabana Azmi (Ankur, Paar,Mandi), Smita Patil (Mirch Masala, Aakrosh) and recently Nimrat Kaur (The Lunchbox) and Irrfan in countless films were able to pull off the complex roles because they could bring themselves to look poor?

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Isn’t that the whole point of being a good actor? To BECOME a part no matter where you come from? Or is that too fine a distinction to seep into the mind of someone who perhaps thinks she is too great to be anything other than another version of herself?

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And there was Priyanka Chopra, at a recent award show, showing off her BMW and  answering a question with a smug, “Have I driven it? No, I prefer to be driven!” At another show, she  spoke about her yardstick of a worthy partner. Someone who can buy her a diamond ring bigger than the one her father bought her!

And ofcourse there is Sonam Kapoor . You know, what I mean? Like, whatever!  She thinks good looking actors are not taken seriously and bad looking actors are credited with talent because everyone feels sorry for them! So intense is her love for good actors that she confuses Mahatma Gandhi with De Niro. She also believes that just because you look like you have come from a ‘pind” (take note Parineeti Chopra from Ambala) and ham, it doesn’t mean you can act. She also  thinks Parineeti should not wear tight clothes because how can someone with a natural, voluptuous figure dare to show her curves off? She dissed another colleague who is now far more successful than her for her fashion sense, her character (what else does  “good girl gone bad”mean?) and for her PR team.

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It is a privilege to be young and beautiful and successful in India where so many are struggling to survive but it is a privilege that must not be taken for granted because really, as we noted at the beginning of this story, time outlasts everything. The brightest success stories. The most beautiful faces. And a little grace and humility, a centred world-view where you are not the centre of everything helps to create a deeper, more authentic life. Because if all you have is a few expensive rings, snobbery and petty retorts, you are just an underfed spirit and an over developed ego.