It was with a sense of dread that I watched the Geetika Tyagi ..Subhash Kapoor video. In a tastefully decorated room where friends possibly gather to discuss films and life..a conversation unfolded that could not have been easy for any of the people present. A young woman with naked pain and revulsion in her voice. A friend trying to understand something that is obviously not easy to come to terms with. A wife who sits like the world as she knew it, has ended. Who says, “the core has been damaged.” But something..someone must be saved. A child. And the husband? The man accused of assault? He stands..not knowing what to say. Willing to apologise. Willing to be slapped. Willing to go through anything just so his world can revert back to normalcy. Or maybe, nothing really changed for him. He is still married and after winning a few awards, on his way to more success.
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So it really does not matter, does it, what you do if your success speaks louder than your conscience? There is Woody Allen, still reeking of innocence. Still on his tireless cinematic journey. While Dylan Farrow, his adopted daughter has never grown beyond the abuse she allegedly suffered at his hands when she was just seven. She never got her moment of vindication. Or an apology like Tyagi did. She lives with a new name, anonymously in a new life, trying to forget. But everytime she sees Allen being rewarded and awarded (he just received his 24th Oscar nomination) , she is reminded that while she lost her childhood, Allen lost nothing.
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Tyagi would have felt the same. She lived with her pain for two years, feeling frozen in her violation while Kapoor went on living his life. And winning awards. And even when the video with his apology and her cathartic slap was released , nothing changed. It was Tyagi whose credibility was questioned on social networking sites. So yes, these are crazy times and everything, even your pain and shame can go viral and become fuel for an evening’s gossip. An event that has scarred a life can be reduced to a heap of vicious tweets. I would never ever wish this conversation or what preceded and followed it upon anyone. The responses to the video added to my dread.
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So this was Taygi’s publicity stunt? Really, at the cost of more violation, this time in the public domain? And the onus to prove her innocence was upon Tyagi even though the guilt had been admitted by Kapoor? Why had she uploaded the video after two years of the episode? Well, who are we to ask why? May be, she could not deal with her pain anymore. Why had not her friend just beaten Kapoor? Yes, anything is better than openly naming and shaming a father and a husband who did not remember he was a father and a husband when he did what he did. Why record the conversation? Well, why not? Let us presume that Tyagi had filed a complaint two years ago. Would she have been believed considering even today she is being vilified even though she has it ON CAMERA that a director on the make violated her trust?
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The big boy’s club is out there, shielding its own and calling her everything from a publicity whore to a small time actress looking for a big break. Yes, by first orchestrating an assault upon herself and then by brainwashing Kapoor and his wife to admit that the assault had indeed happened! They are even digging up dirt from Tyagi’s past just so the video and her credibility can be laughed at.
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Well, not surprising considering there is even a lobby trying to discredit Tarun Tejpal’s assault victim. According to the supporters of the upright editor, the case against him is a political conspiracy, the victim is possibly a stooge and whatever happened could have been consensual. This after he has accepted in his own words that he is ashamed of what happened. No proof, it seems is enough to implicate a powerful man but none is needed to shame and belittle a victim.
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Rahul Singh said on national TV recently that if we took the new rape law seriously, many influential men would be in jail! Was he implying that it is not unusual for powerful men to do what Tejpal did and so the law should look the other way? It was also said that the new rape law is ridiculous and that you can’t put away a man in jail for what is being described as rape but is not in the conventional sense. Right, violation must be complete to be called violation. Any other kind is permissible and forgivable.
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And how are men accused of violating the trust of their women and their colleagues able to manage personal lives without much collateral damage? Kapoor is still with his wife. Woody in a life long relationship with someone who was the adopted daughter of Mia Farrow, his partner of many years . Remember Shiney Ahuja? Remember the spirited defence his wife put up for him? Tejpal was last seen boarding a plane (before his arrest) with an entourage of family and friends who shielded him from the media. Hillary Clinton. Are these quietly supportive women afraid to face the truth? To see their men for who they are? Or is it just the comforting infrastructure of marriage that numbs them?
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Tyagi has it on camera and still can’t do a thing to get some closure. Imagine all the women who live with the memory of violation but have no proof. What chance do they have at closure or healing? Silence is a huge stonewalling tactic when it comes to abuse. Noone wants to talk about it even if it happened within the sheltering walls of their home. It is too shattering. Too huge to deal with.
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Counselling is still an unfamiliar concept in India but respectability is not. No matter what happens, the veneer of respectability must not be discarded for truth. Appearances count, not truth. Even if it is captured by a spycam. Even if it cannot be hidden anymore. We can all pretend it didn’t happen. And it didn’t. Not to us.
Reema Moudgil has been writing for magazines and newspapers on art, cinema, issues, architecture and more since 1994, is a mother, an RJ , an artist. She runs Unboxed Writers from a rickety computer , edited Chicken Soup for The Indian Woman’s soul, authored Perfect Eight and earns a lot of joy through her various roles and hopes that some day working for passion will pay in more ways than just one. And that one day she will finally be able to build a dream house, travel around the world and look back and say, “It was all worth it.”
I am agree with you. Geetika has done right what ever she has faced in last two year this is must.and after these so many people thinks one to do something like these.If she is fake than too ds is right way to tell the pain.