The world seems to be aflame. Every new devastation in the news cycle triggers you and traumatises you.
In your personal life, you are possibly extremely generous and giving to a fault. To the extent that you often times neglect yourself. Possibly a compulsive giver and always ready to put your needs on hold for others. You attract a lot of people who only take and expect you to keep giving. You know they are unfair but you keep giving. Because you care about making a difference and making people feel better. At some point though, your mind and body want to give up.
And even though you eat well, possibly exercise, you feel drained all the time to the point of sheer exhaustion. You suffer from mysterious aches and pains or find it hard to get a good night’s sleep.
Sounds familiar ? If you don’t have any medical issues, then chances are, you are exhausted for a reason that cannot be diagnosed easily. You are probably an empath, a term used to describe highly sensitive people who are like sponges and take on other people’s traumas, pain, negativity and energy.
While I don’t claim to be an expert on this subject, I have experienced this a few times in my life. And I know If you are not protective of yourself and don’t take precautions, you will continue to feel depleted and fatigued.
In my case, nothing seemed to work. Not affirmations, or a positive frame of mind.
I was losing weight, going into depression, and barely able to function. A visit to the doctor and a blood test confirmed that nothing was wrong with me. Then I began to make a connection between me and what was happening around me.
I noticed when I stopped being around certain people or environments, the difference in my energy and behavior was palpable.
The solution is not that we stop being empathetic but to know our limitations and protect our vulnerabilities.
So how does an empath survive in a world designed to suck people dry? For one you can go into a hermit mode but that is not a viable option. You most probably need to put yourself out there on a daily basis to earn a living, to stay updated with news, interact with many people who affect you negatively. Or maybe you need to take care of a particularly difficult family member. Because none of us can retreat permanently to the safety of our shells, here are a few tips that worked for me and may keep you functioning at your best.
Set Boundaries
Who you give your time, love, energy, and attention to, matters. If you feel someone is constantly draining your energy, withdraw from them or cut them off if you can. This may not be possible if they are family.
I suggest withdrawing from them or taking a break occasionally. Believe me they will appreciate you more when you come back and you will be recharged and ready to take on anything. Well, almost anything.
Also set clear boundaries about what is acceptable behavior and what you will simply not tolerate. You may need to do this a few times before some people get the idea and stop engaging in toxic behavior.
Don’t feel compelled to just give. Learn to receive. Ask for help when needed. You will be surprised just how many people will show up.
Extreme Self-Care
If you identify as an empath, self-care is not an option, it is a necessity. Rest, nap, unplug, take long baths, long walks, connect with nature wherever, whenever possible. Can’t get to an ocean for a dip? Try a salt water bath.
Do whatever you need to feel pampered and rejuvenated. Commit to it and do it regularly. Don’t wait till you burn out. You will know when you have reached your limits.
Your body always tells you when to step back and to rest. Listen to its gentle nudges and do what you need to do to nurture yourself back to a balanced state.
Say No!
As a people pleaser you may find it hard to say ‘no’ to people, you end up taking on more than you can handle and would rather suffer silently than let down a friend or loved one.
But you need to start putting yourself first. Check in with yourself before doing something. Is this for me?
Will this bring me joy?
Or will this leave me stressed out, anxious, and frustrated? Say ‘no’ to anything that feels ambiguous and fuzzy.
Again, this will take time. You have to rewire your brain to say ‘no.’ And sometimes you have to say an energetic ‘no’ to people who don’t ask but simply latch on to you and draw on your energy.
And by an energetic ‘no,’ I mean say ‘no’ even in your own head to sharing your energy with those who know not where to stop.
Limit Your Social Media Diet
Remember you absorb everything, including the pain and trauma that keeps playing on in the news loop hour after hour.
It’s not easy for an empath to watch suffering and do nothing about it. Your primal instinct is to set things right.
But saving the world is too big a task for you to take on single handedly.
This can lead to frustration, helplessness, and depression. Do yourself a favor and go on a leaner social media diet that does not trigger you all the time. Some of us can’t bear to be on social media at all and that is fine too.
Being reactive all the time does not serve any purpose. Do what you can to fix one or two issues that you most care about. It will give you a sense of control and you will feel like you have contributed something.
The burden of the world is not yours to carry. Nor can you carry it alone.
Just keep doing your bit to improve your part of the world.
Make An Exit
If you have tried all the tips above and you still get no relief what so ever, then it is time to leave your current environment or relationships.
Seek counselling and medical help if needed but also pay attention to who is around when your energy dips.
Remember energy never lies to you. Listen to it and protect yourself.
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Damayanti Chandrasekhar is a Reiki healer, teacher, writer and mother. She loves Yoga, baking and the Tao. She has a Master’s degree in journalism and her other interests include reading, travelling and playing agony aunt via her blog www.punctuatelife.com