My father-in-law passed away in relative peace on January 23, 2011 after suffering horribly for the past three odd years from Alzheimer’s. His death set him free and I want to believe he is in a better, happier place, because that will help me sleep better. I do not want to think of his soul suffering innumerable atrocities, passing various hurdles, taking further tests, slogging… slogging hard to join his ancestors. I do not want to be told that the pujas and the yagnas done by us are going to be deciding factors in his achieving nirvana.
Do I want to take that kind of responsibility?
I swear to God, I do not know.
When Appa was alive, he was mine. If someone told me I could do anything at all to improve his lot in life, I would have done it happily, and more. But I don’t understand these daan-dharma rituals. The head priest tried hard to explain things … but there were so many gaps, so many if’s and but’s …
So much smoke.
Karma dharma.. a vicious cycle
People come, people go
Pour some ghee
Take a bath
Give away a cow
The whole nine yard is
So much smoke..
All said and done, may he find his piece of heaven. And may his children find the strength to go on, and to remember him as he was before… whole and alive.
Peace.
Uma Iyer is a writer, a mother and a freelance consultant for marketing communication to several organisations. She was raised in Mumbai and currently lives in Delhi. Her retirement plan includes two dogs, many books and a shack by the sea