The world has become unbearable to me. The more I try to center myself and tap into inner peace, the more junk it throws at me. I love the trash-to-treasure idea but what do you do with random acts of violence with absolutely no motive or reasoning? It’s hard to erase those images from your psyche.
My husband lovingly calls me the ‘enlightened one’ – what with my 24/7 obsession with making everything right with the world and my irresistible need to give advice to everyone about everything. But I was beginning to think he is mistaken. I’m barely keeping my head above the water. But it’s not like I’m going through the worst time of my life. Those years are way behind me. So then it got me thinking about those years when I felt all alone and a slave to my never-ending problems. Where was God, where were the signs, where were His/Her people?
This is what I sensed from deep within,” Even in your moments of deep despair, I was there whispering words of reassurance. You heard the words but didn’t know it was me.” And then this song just popped into my head – In the Arms of the Angel from the soundtrack of the movie City of Angels. I used to hear that song over and over when I was in Pondicherry, hating the course I was doing and wanting to quit. It was a very tough phase, with lots of tears and regret and doubts about whether I was doing the right thing. Back then it was just a song to me and it did not occur to me that I was being guided.
Through several hits and misses I see how I was protected and saved from situations that would have taken me down the road to damnation. When I had to deal with heartache I stumbled upon a kind guide and his compassionate words to help me through it.
Which brings me to the poem that wants you to know that whatever it is that you are going through, you are not alone. Not even physically alone because me and several others are with you down that path. The poem by Mary Stevenson that in one line sums up both a question and an answer,”My precious, precious child, I love you and would never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints in the sand it was then that I was carrying you.”
Damayanti Chandrasekhar lives in Florida with her husband and two children, loves yoga, baking and the Tao. She has a Masters degree in Journalism and currently volunteers at the local public school. Her other interests include reading, travelling and playing agony aunt via her blogwww.punctuatelife.com.