No Silence Please..

“Finger on your lips,” in class

 “Silence please,” in the library

“shhh…,” says a cute baby in the poster at the doctor’s clinic

“Don’t talk when 2 adults are talking,”  “keep quiet..”

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These are both, memories and scars from our childhood. It’s no surprise then that staying silent is the order, instruction, advice we continue to give ourselves. Question being, about what do we stay silent and for how long? Nirbhaya’s story answers that for you and for me.

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Abuse isn’t new to us, neither are we to it. It has always happened. But we now hear about it, report it, read it and think about it a little more than we did earlier. It’s like everything else. Like corruption or like cancer. It always existed, but today, we do something more about it. We create awareness and rally for our right to vote for a just candidate. We research, study and develop new medicines to contain, to fight, to face cancer. Then why is Abuse any different? Why aren’t we coming forth and talking about it, sharing our stories and building a foundation so strong, that fiveyears from now, this piece of writing will sound like history?

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Nirbhaya, the play reiterates one big point for me, as a daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend, woman, human – Communication. That staying silent is no more an option. Whether you’re a victim, a witness or just someone who heard about something, we’re all equally responsible for breaking the silence. The onus is now on us!

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If parents spoke to their children openly about ‘good touch’ and ‘bad touch’ and assured them that no matter what, amma, appa/mamma, papa/mom,dad would be there for them – with all their love and support. That coming to them with a problem, a complaint or tears would not be met with anger and punishment or much worse, blame. Respect and fear, must never overlap. That grey area, of fearing a discussion with the parent, is all it takes for us to lose ourselves and carry the shame and pain within through our lives.

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If only women knew that the courage to speak up against domestic violence and abuse at the hands of their husband and husband’s family, lies within them. If only she was told, that to stand up for herself, for her rights and safety was of importance not just to her but to her parents and the society. And if only the parents and society reciprocated that faith, we wouldn’t have wives dying a death in more ways than one, every single day.

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If the heart bled every time we experienced something like this, we’d all be walking around with stained chests. Let’s trade silence for speaking up, suffering for healing. Talk about our scars from yesterday to save someone’s today. Let us pick speaking-up over silence, healing over suffering, acceptance and action over ignorance. Let’s care more for an image that our soul deserves than one that the so-called society demands.

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To every boy and girl who has seen, heard, experienced abuse, to every man and woman who still carries that hurting child within, to every parent who fears the worst, but won’t speak about it, to every single person who knows that “these things happen,” here’s my plea – Be silent no more! Be scared no more! Be where you’ve been, no more. Come forth and speak up. Take it seriously enough to “do” something for the child, woman, man who suffers at the hands of another child, woman, man. You are not alone. Reach out to the fearless you! Reach out to a better world!Stay Nirbhaya!

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