For a long time now, there’s been a clear divide between stay-at- home mothers and working mothers. The pros and cons of both situations have been discussed and debated with inconclusive results. In the end, it is more about the choices a woman has or is forced to make.
I wanted to be a mother as well as work. I have always felt I am a better mother when I am working. My work gives me a high, feeds my self-esteem and unleashes a happiness which I cannot describe. When I work, I transfer this feel good vibe to my baby. When I don’t, I get depressed, cynical, almost resentful.
However with motherhood has come a significant change. Earlier I wanted to spend all my waking hours working. Today I want to work only through a part of the day and be around my baby for the rest. Sadly, the medium in which I work does not have too many avenues to tackle this need. People either want to hire you full time or none. You have to commit to working 10 to 12 hours a day or sit at home. I did not want to stay away from my baby for such a long time every day. I wanted to be home when she returned from school or when she went to the park. Having no choice, I decided to quit.
The reasons I mentioned to my HR department and bosses were clear. I was at a good post, was doing well but I was ready to give it all up because as a mother, I had no other choice. Imagine then my surprise when they offered that I could work from home and come to office only twice a week for a few hours! Of course, I would take a few beatings in terms of incentives and perks but that was nothing compared to the time I would get with my baby. It was too good to be true but this week, I started this new arrangement.
The point I am trying to make is that most of the time we just assume there are no alternatives. We do not ask . What I have learnt is that if you are clear about what you want and are good at your work, there’s more than a chance that your employer will consider making things work for you. You have to be determined, disciplined and clear in your priorities. And this applies to every aspect of life.
It is a welcome change from the time when every work place was regimented around stringent rules. Such working options have always existed abroad and I am happy that these options are opening up for women in India too. After all, how many women are companies going to lose to motherhood? And women are a large working force often compromised by their circumstances. It has taken a long time for professional flexibility to emerge but better late than never.
I am more at peace now. I work from home with the same discipline, focus and gusto. In fact, I work better knowing that I am around if my baby needs me. My daughter too seems happier. And though she does not bother me too much while I work, an occasional hug from her while I type on my laptop is enough to rejuvenate me. I am far more productive as a professional and as a mother now than if I was just sitting in an office. I do yoga, work on my next book, blog, drop and pick my daughter from school, meet friends, cook for my family and yes work! And if getting to do all that I want in return for a lesser monetary incentive, I am all for it. After all, living is as important as earning a living, if not more!
I might be one of the lucky few but I sure hope that mothers all over get a flexible working option. Its one of the things surely needed and if effectively implemented can benefit many women who do not want to give up their right to earn a living for a life with their babies. Ask and you just maybe able to have both.
Shabia Ravi Walia has been a media professional for the past 15 years, dabbling in production, creative direction and writing. However her biggest achievement, she says is the birth of her baby Sia and penning down the experiences associated with it in her book ‘Mamma Mania’ (http://www.flipkart.com/books/8184430383).