Over a span of 37 years, I have come across friends in different forms. As a kid, the ones I shared my dolls with and fought with, over half-eaten chocolates. I did not know then what friendship was and why friends were important. They were just a part of your life and you accepted them that way without any expectations. In school, they were life savers as they laughed and cried with you in an unfamiliar world. They were with you when you got a spanking and still there when you got some applause. They didn’t cheer you nor did they boo you. But they offered solace by just being there. Innocently. Without any agendas.

And then came college where you carefully chose who you were seen with. You wanted to be accepted and appreciated. You had a thousand complexes. You had left a cocoon and now wanted to taste freedom. And after much trial-and-error you formed a group. The three or four friends who at that point you thought would be there for life. With cups of coffee, you raised toasts to your friendship, swore you would be there for each other forever. Life was an adventure that you embarked on, safely enveloped in the warmth of your close friends, knowing fully well that someone was watching your back always.

The promises however faded when reality kicked in and career and livelihood issues took over life. Enthusiasm turned into cautious cynicism. You were now at your work place and every one was a competitor. Yet in this arena too, there was someone who called out to you at lunch time and told you where the office supplies were. There was someone who noticed when you walked in with red eyes one morning and handed you tissues while you blew away your nose discreetly in the office wash room. Quite surprisingly, one of these so called competitors even managed to help you complete your project on time. But as you climbed the ladders of the corporate world, you had little time to revel in the joys of friendship. Each second was precious, each relationship had to be worth your while. So you admired your set of well-wishers once in a while with pride rather than with gratitude. With each new job, friends changed, give or take a few who remained in touch.

And then life came full circle. You became a parent. So did your friends from school. And there grew a strong need to reconnect with your childhood.You looked for and found them on Facebook. And you were amazed that you still bonded instantly. No re-introductions, no formalities. Just nostalgia and a sense of loss over years when you didn’t keep in touch.And then at school, as your child tried to find friends, so did you. And befriended another mom who offered to drop your kid when you were not well. And the one who suggested a good doctor to you for that niggling cold while someone offered to babysit for you. Suddenly you were back to  school and it felt as if you had again discovered pure friendship.

This is where I first found genuine friends and something tells me that 35 years later as my daughter goes to school, I have found another set of friends. Friends who are dependable, and fun. The awkwardness of college days is left behind, the competitiveness  inbuilt in careers has no place here. Just a silent empathy and understanding and a common bond of motherhood brings us together. We all have the same problems, concerns, joys and sorrows and the same dreams for our kids. How can we then not connect?

As I watch my daughter interact with her classmates, my eyes well up as she stumbles and another little hand saves her from falling. Instinctively my daughter raises her hand to caress his cheek.  I leave before I start crying, fully aware that my daughter has unknowingly made a friend.  I am happy for her as I leave to catch up with one of my schoolmates.  Ah, to be a friend and to have a friend for life.

Shabia Ravi Walia has been a media professional for the past 15 years, dabbling in production, creative direction and writing. However her biggest achievement, she says is the birth of her baby Sia and penning down the experiences associated with it in her book  ‘Mamma Mania’ (http://www.flipkart.com/books/8184430383).