Everyday, I die a little – for I haven’t told you everything
Everyday, I cry a little – for the beauty of you breaks me
Everyday, I battle with demons that haunt my unsleeping spaces
And pray to unseen gods who pull the strings that make us dance
Or lose the chance to say or do the things we want
In you, I found and lost myself over and over again
Drained my juices and mingled my footsteps like rain on sodden earth
Everyday, I walk a little – in and out of rooms adorned by your absence
Everyday, I talk a little – to myself in the fractured syntax of distraction
Everyday, I watch you open and shut yourself like an old accordion
Sighing secrets and squeezing silences with the ease of exhalation
How well should I know you?
Must I drown in your depths?
How much should I love you?
Enough to let you go once more; roam free in the autonomy of being
And draggle my tortured self in loveless fields watered by tears?
What’s the point of mystery – of life, or science or geography?
Have I really changed – overwritten my being with word and thought?
Everyday, I escape a little – from you and those not you
Everyday, I seek the comfort of returning to myself
Like the endless rhythm of angered waves crashing on sandy beaches
Everyday, everyday, I hear music and madness in my head
And see an unkindness of ravens circling, wishing me dead.
Priya Ganapathy is a media/entertainment personality with a career spanning print, radio, TV, film, internet and theatre. A widely published writer, she has contributed to books, articles and columns in leading newspapers and magazines. Popular as the RJ who created the iconic radio characters, Lingo Leela and Sister Stella, Priya now works as an independent writer, anchor and voice-artiste.