Just a few days before December 16, the second anniversary of the Nirbhaya tragedy, actor, producer and activist Dia Mirza was in town. The Uber rape case was on her mind, as were the sexual crimes against young girls in Bengaluru’s schools.
She said, “What kind of man rapes a woman… a little girl? This question has been haunting me… And then when you read statistics that indicate 94 per cent of the rapists know their victims, it sets you thinking even more.”
The Uber rape case has horrified her. Especially the part where the taxi driver threatened to insert a rod into the victim’s body. That a potential rapist did not remember the punishment meted out to Nirbhaya’s rapists but just what they inflicted upon her, should give us a glimpse into the minds of those who commit gender crimes. The same pattern can be seen in Bengaluru where little girls have been repeatedly targetted by paedophiles without any fear that law will catch up. Dia notices an obvious irony in the way we fear to even discuss sex in India but live in a society where sexual crimes are increasing by the day.
She says, “I feel everything is interconnected. I always say the problem with our country is sex. We know how to produce children but not necessarily know how to nurture them.When I heard activist Kamla Bhasin speak on Satyamev Jayate, I couldn’t help but agree with her that only an emotionally vacuous man can rape a woman. If we need to address the crimes against women and root this out of our society, we must address how we view the context of sex in our lives.”
She continues, “Dig a little deep, and one discovers that though we live in the land of the Kama Sutra. We have in fact, in the name of ‘culture’ or ‘morality,’ become coy as a society about the most natural act of existence. This coyness leads to ignorance, which I believe is responsible for all that is going wrong with the way our children handle sex.”
The spurt in crimes committed by juveniles bothers her and she says, “When boys and men become incapable of expressing emotion in a healthy way or finding an emotional balance, we create a society where conscience plays no role in the choices a man makes. Repression of emotion leads to rape. Especially when it comes to his physical desires. When sex is associated with love and becomes the symbol of loving expression then the chances of these cruel, unfeeling men committing these heinous crimes would diminish.”
The Nirbhaya case still affects her deeply and she is upset that even two years after the tragedy, “we continue to find ourselves battling the same fears. It is time we find a way to encourage people to become more expressive, demonstrative, affectionate and loving at home. Our children need to learn how to express love and respect towards everyone.”
Children must be sensitised to gender equality, she believes and adds,”Children need to be taught what it means to be humane. Respect that stems from fear and not love is no respect.”
As an actor and producer working in Hindi cinema, she is aware of her own responsibility towards creating narratives and characters that are sensitive to gender questions.
“I really feel, once our beliefs evolve, they will reflect in the way characters are written for a film. Emotional intelligence and respect will begin to inform choices in all aspects of the media. It will come across in the writing and in the material that actors and film makers work with.”
The mindless banality of creative content bothers her and she says, “The content that many of us choose to make is bred with a mindset of, ‘yehi chalta hai’ (only this works). In the desire to earn big bucks, the identity of the women and her dignity has been submerged into shallowness and this must be stopped.”
Objectification, she says is the way of the world.
“Every one is selling something at the end of the day but it is how we choose to sell our wares that defines who we are as a society. Objectification does not have to be about vulgar titillation.”
Both the maker and the consumer are equally to blame for content that demeans women, she believes.
“As filmmakers we have a responsibility and it is time each of us embraced that responsibility. And no, I am not saying there can be no gray, no sexiness, no darkness in a film. I am saying that there can be all of this but if it is handled with sensitivity and social awareness, there is a big chance it would not be vulgar or disrespectful to women or men.”
with The New Indian ExpressReema Moudgil works for The New Indian Express, Bangalore, is the author of Perfect Eight, the editor of Chicken Soup for the Soul-Indian Women, an artist, a former RJ and a mother. She dreams of a cottage of her own that opens to a garden and where she can write more books, paint, listen to music and just be.