One Sunday morning, sipping my cup of coffee, I happened to glance through the matrimonial column and literally choked. No, I did not find a suitable husband for myself, far from that. But what did draw the breath out of me was the obsession with fair complexion. There was not one single advertisement, which didn’t mention, “Wanted fair bride/bridegroom.” I mean, one thing I fail to understand is how can skin, a shade lighter or darker, make one a better or a worse life partner?
How can darker skin make a beautiful human being lesser or fairer skin make another, better than they really are? I have met hundreds of people and let me tell you, 75 per cent of them are on the darker side yet are wonderful human beings. Now don’t get me wrong. I am not biased against the fairer ones at all. But when will we understand that having a dark complexion is not a defect or disease but a genetic imprint we Indians carry in our DNA. Just like we have different colours for the eyes and hair depending on our genes, the skin too is just a physical trait independent of a person’s nature or character.
My mother called me the other day to say that a couple in the neighbourhood had been blessed with a baby boy. I asked if the baby was fine and healthy. My mum replied that he was like a doll, “Bilkul gora chitta hai.” And I lost it once again. When will we stop discriminating against little innocent babies on the basis of their skin colour? And if only lighter skin came automatically blessed with special abilities then what about people like PT Usha, Rajnikanth, Nandita Das, Kajol and Oprah Winfrey, who are all icons of success?
My friend’s roommate, a gora chitta young man himself, finds dark women more attractive. He thinks black is beautiful even though his family insists that he get a gori wife for himself otherwise his dark progeny would not fit in their fair-skinned khaandan.
And not to forget various companies manufacturing fairness creams. “Sirf 6 hafton mein gora baniye,” “Ab safalta aapke haath mein,” “ Fem..Fem se gori gori,” scream advertisers. One advertisement even goes to the extent of showing the parents of a dark girl from a poor family wishing for a son. And then once the dark lass applies the fairness cream, she lands a job as an air hostess and does her family proud. So much for brains and qualifications!
Fuelling this prejudice are our Hindi film songs, ‘Gori hai kalaiyan,’ ‘Yeh kaali kaali aankhen..yeh gore gore gaal,’ highlighting the fact that we lesser mortals who do not possess gore gaal are no good. How can we ever bridge this gap in real life when the media itself promotes such indiscreet portrayal of the fairer skin as better and more beautiful?
The West craves for tanned skin and we who possess it, look down upon it. Naomi Campbell is proclaimed to be the ultimate sex symbol, but the same dark colour is unwanted back home. I am sure, there is a vast section of society that agrees that the Indian government should ban products claiming to improve skin colour. Matrimonial columns should stop accepting requests for a specific colour as one of the prerequisites for a life partner. Films and film songs reinforcing prejudices about skin colour should be banned. The Indian Constitution considers ridiculing physical disability as a serious offence and yet a darker colour is for all means in our society, treated as a physical disability.
A debate on this colour bias must begin with you, your family, your friends and may be some introspection will lead us to ensure that in the future, no mother judges her daughter-in-law on the basis of her skin colour. Maybe, we all will start looking beyond a person’s appearance. Maybe then all babies will be considered cute. And then no matrimonial requests seeking a bride/bridegroom of a fairer skin will have me choking over my cup of coffee on a lazy Sunday morning.
Shabia Ravi Walia has been a media professional for the past 15 years, dabbling in production, creative direction and writing. However her biggest achievement, she says is the birth of her baby Sia and penning down the experiences associated with it in her book Mamma Mania (http://www.flipkart.com/books/8184430383).