lisa“It is not enough to be interesting..you need to be interested,” said Jennifer Aniston once to explain how she deals with fame. She shared how the joy of creating something worthwhile keeps her from being jaded and cynical. Especially when she leaves a film set and runs into the invasive fame machinery that consumes celebrities and then spits them out when they have served their purpose. Even this part, said Aniston,  cannot stop her from enjoying her work. But fame today is seldom if ever about what people do. It is about who they are presumed to be. The clothes they wear. The random statements they make. Their bodies. Their relationships. Their failures. Press conferences most of the time are sweltering cauldrons where hissing cameras bare their teeth, random questions are hurled and sometimes you see a celebrity unravelling right before your eyes.
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This relationship between a media professional and a famous person is a complex one. It is rarely if ever neutral and is made up of extreme emotions like adoration, fear, hungry curiosity and even loathing occasionally. I once saw Madhuri Dixit leave a press meet in a huff when a scribe asked her tauntingly, “So how is Mr MF Husain?” And also an absolutely undignified stampede of press persons and fans as they fawned over Shahrukh Khan and his star buddies even though they had walked into a press meet four hours late.
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Twenty years of  watching this can dilute the joy of interviewing people but thankfully it has not. There is nothing more rewarding than connecting with another mind. Conversations are beautiful when they unfold in an unhurried space. When the right chord is struck and conversation flows and someone trusts you enough to share a personal story. It is a huge privilege to peek into someone’s soul and that is why I no longer go to media events because you never get enough time to connect with a celebrity as just another human-being. They are either stressed or just too exhausted to figure that you don’t just want a piece of their fame but an insight. But last week I did something uncharacteristic and went for the unveiling of the USL Diageo Scotch Whisky Collection at a heritage hotel where Chitrangada Singh, Shibani Dandekar and Lisa Haydon were supposed to address the media. It had been a while since I witnessed the mechanics of an evening crafted around beautiful people taking selfies with each other, with their food and against stunning backdrops. As I waited for an interview to happen, A lovely lady tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Excuse me..are you a PR person? I want a selfie with Chitrangada.” Disappointed with my answer,  she went ahead and possibly took a selfie with comic talent Anu Menon who was the host of the evening and was now obliging fans by grinning again and again into their phones.

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A long stroll later that ended with a bouncer eyeballing the gentle PR executive with me to ascertain whether I was just another gatecrasher or a serious scribe, I got in a room where the three ladies in question were addressing selected members of the media. I sat down before Lisa Haydon. It had possibly been a long day and it hadn’t ended even though the main part of her endorsement duties..that of talking about her favourite whiskey on stage had ended. Earlier in the evening, when Lisa, Shibani and Chitrangada were on stage in their coordinated white dresses, their sculpted shoulder blades glistening in the flattering spotlight, I had wondered what they were really feeling up there especially because I had seen a clip of an earlier event in Bombay where Chitrangada had pointed at the noisy cameras and said, “this is distracting.” And her statement was replayed again and again in a gossip show to suggest just how irritable she was. It is hard to know what it feels like to have hundreds of cameras aimed  at you. It can, am sure, get unnerving.

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And so it doesn’t come as a surprise when in the middle of a chat that never really takes off, Lisa looks around and says, “This is strange…everyone is just standing and ..staring.” Something about the moment when I sat down in front of her did not feel right. She does not really know for sure which publication I come from. But she makes an effort to be polite and when I ask her if she feels at home in Bombay after being a free-spirited global citizen, she says, “I have been here eight years. I have grown up here. Home is a sense of familiarity, where you have your base, a routine, friends. So yes, I feel at home.” She talks about a recent Instagram post where she described what  coming home meant to her. With so many demands on her time, does she get time to introspect and evaluate her journey? She looks away, “Ofcourse…you introspect to take stock, to set goals but most of the times, life plays itself out, you know? And you play along as well.”
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About her bohemian character in Queen, she says, “It was a great character to play in India because we are a lot more culturally oriented and a character like mine had not been played before. I would also love playing the kind of characters Woody Allen creates. There is something very profoundly simple about his cinema.”
By this time, the two girls who are watching over the interaction are getting restive. They are possibly there to gauge the comfort level the stars have with a journalist or maybe just to manage their time efficiently. Lisa is restive too and says, “All these deep questions..you are making me think!”
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I continue. Considering this is rather experimental phase of cinema, is it a good time to be her (an unconventional actor)?  I am not sure but something about the question puts her off. She looks at her minders and says, “It is ALWAYS a good time to be me.” I know something is not working out. I won’t ask her about her exercise routine or the time, as the jargon goes, she set swimwear goals for the rest of us. So I ask her about her forthcoming projects. And learn she is currently looking forward to Housefull 3. I wonder if filmmakers see her as she wants to be seen. She responds,” We are all such multi-dimensional creatures and it is impossible to see all the facets of a person’s personality.”
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And that brings me to the common, limiting perception about female actors that they are just physical beings and the disrespectful tweeter she had sometime back put in his place for a lewd comment. Is that a struggle, to be always seen in one light? She looks at me and says, “That tweet is not relevant now. We are at an event…and these questions….” The minders are beginning to whisper, “It is enough..it is enough.”
So I thank Lisa and tell her that I will send her a link when the interview is out. Am not sure, if the thought excites her. I do not write for Vogue or Verve or a riproaring gossip site. I was just trying to have a conversation. As I walk away, I realise, I do not have to take it to heart that I could not strike a chord with her or make her trust me enough to talk. Sometimes, you can be at the wrong place and the wrong time. Or even at the right place at the right time but be the wrong person. Connections and conversations cannot be forced. Not all conversations are meant to flow. And it is okay to not judge them when they don’t. Maybe today I was not interesting enough. And Lisa Haydon was not interested enough.

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Reema Moudgil is the editor and co-founder of Unboxed Writers, the author of Perfect Eight, the editor of  Chicken Soup for the Soul-Indian Women, a  translator who recently interpreted  Dominican poet Josefina Baez’s book Comrade Bliss Ain’t Playing in Hindi, an  RJ with Timbre Media and an artist who has exhibited her work in India and the US and is now retailing some of her art at http://paintcollar.com/reema. She won an award for her writing/book from the Public Relations Council of India in association with Bangalore University, has written for a host of national and international magazines since 1994 on cinema, theatre, music, art, architecture and more. She hopes to travel more and to grow more dimensions as a person. And to be restful, and alive in equal measure.