I have been weathering a storm since last year. So, I have been blogging about how unfair, ruthless, and hard life is. Although the storm hasn’t abated yet, I am seeing a bright, bright ray of sunshine now. I am insanely happy today.
A few months ago, when it dawned on me that my relationship had really gone down the drain, I had a brief telephonic conversation with my sister, who lives in Texas. That’s when I was trying way too hard to cope with anxiety, and depression. I felt so exhausted that I had nothing to tell her. She knew that her words wouldn’t comfort me. We were silent for a minute. I was positive that it was not an awkward silence. It was almost as though I had woken up from a dream, and I couldn’t shrug off the warm feeling that conquered me after that. I blurted, “I want to spend my birthday with you next year. My last two birthdays were shitty. I cannot let myself down next year too.” There was no trace of incredulity in her tone, when she said, “Next birthday in Texas. Sounds perfect.” What will I do without this sister, who always, always takes me seriously!
My mind needed to work on a short-term goal then. Instead of brooding over everything that went wrong, I wanted to expend my energy on something that would give me a sense of accomplishment. Hence, we worked on my travel plan to Texas. Whenever I found myself walking into darkness, I would remind myself about how wonderful my travel would be, and I would ask myself to think of memorable things I can do in Texas. In many ways, I rescued myself by looking forward to my trip.
Last week, my Visa was approved, and my tickets were booked. Honestly, I cannot remember the last time I was this happy.
The gloomy clouds have made way for the Texas sun. I am ridiculously excited.
Deepika Ramesh is a reader, blogger, animal-lover, aspiring cyclist, and a sucker for tiny, warm moments. She blogs at https://worncorners.wordpress.com