Vijay Nair: A Life To Remember

An overcast afternoon and the paper lamps in Ranga Shankara cafe glowed and swayed in the breeze. Friends, colleagues and members of author, playwright, mentor, poet Vijay Nair’s extended family slowly filled up the empty spaces and occupied the benches, chairs and even the steps leading to the cafe. The event organised by theatre exponents Swar Thounaojam, Nimi Ravindran, Vivek Madan and their friends to celebrate Vijay Nair’s life (he passed away on September 5) was tinged with a sense of disbelief. Anju, the vibrant spirit behind the Ranga Shankara cafe shook her head and shared, “It seems like yesterday that Vijay stopped to take home a parcel of food . I can’t believe he is gone..I can’t even imagine how his family has taken it.”

**

The family was there. Dipti, his wife. Her familiar sunshine and smiling eyes just a tad overcast like the day and Dhruv, their son, no longer a baby but a stoic young man. Both strong and poised, full of dignity. As theatre personality Kirtana Kumar said, “You cannot think of Vijay without thinking of Dipti and Dhruv.”   And so there were memories shared of Dipti and Vijay taking turns to soothe a two-year-old Dhruv, combing Goa to look for a Harry Potter book to read to Dhruv. And an excerpt was read out from the family’s favourite book.

Tributes were paid. Well-known playwright and writer Poile Sengupta and her husband Abhijit Sengupta recalled Vijay’s sudden smiles even though as Abhijit recalled,” He was one of the most intense people I have met.” Poile said, “It came as a shock..this news. I still can’t believe it. Our time together was concentrated as if there was no before or after. He was always searching for something and I hope Vijay, you are smiling right now and you have found what you were looking for.”

**

Theatre personality and actor Prakash Belawadi read an excerpt from Vijay’s novel Master Of Life Skills, Swar and an actor friend read the first scene from an unpublished play. Portions from his play Weeds and from his last book Let Her Rest Now as also his non-fiction book Your Boss is Not Your Friend were also read.

 **

One of the most moving tributes came from theatre personality Abhishek Majumdar who recalled how at a certain stage of his life, when he wanted to quit his job and start a new creative journey, Vijay set him up with financial and creative resources so he could leave his job and just focus on a career in theatre. Vijay’s special relationship with kids was visible in the way his niece paid him a heartfelt tribute, as did a visibly shaken youngster who recalled how, “He was the best human-being I have met. He was more than a mentor. He was there for me when no one was and convinced my parents to let me follow my passion. I will play a piece of music I have composed for him.”

And so he did and was followed by a mother whose daughter was also mentored by Vijay. She said, fighting back her tears,”I remember him in this kurta that he is wearing in the picture displayed here. He was at home, talking.. having dinner with us. He was more than a mentor to my daughter. And all I can say is you are still here and thank you for everything you did.”

 **

Friends recalled how he would surprise them by ringing their doorbell at midnight  with a surprise hamper of food to celebrate a birthday and was there for every celebration, every loss and in every impulsive journey because he encouraged unplanned adventures and was still around because a life so intensely, meaningfully lived does not end even when the curtain falls. It lives on in many dimensions, in many lives, in shared moments like Poile said of concentrated intensity, of lifetimes packed in a few years, in the love given and received in a short time but with such joy, that even death cannot dilute it.

 **

There was a lot to feel and learn from what unfolded today. That life is short. And that death throws into sharp relief, the truth about life. That it is impermanent. That nothing matters and yet everything does. Every small thing, we say to each other or do not say. What we do and do not. The things we forget and remember. And always, whenever there is a death, we take stock. Of who we are. And of the life that ended, abruptly or otherwise.

 **

Always we ask questions. ” Were we there when it counted?” “Did we value and honour this person when it counted?” Because when someone leaves, we remember their humanity and we remember also our own self-absorption.

In the end it is the dash between the beginning and the end that counts. The rest is silence. Yamini Vijayan, Vijay and Dipti’s friend summed it up when she read the famous poem by Linda Ellis..(read the full poem here..http://lindaellis.net/the-dash/the-dash-poem-by-linda-ellis/)

“when your eulogy is being read,

with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they say

about how you spent YOUR dash?”   

 

Vijay Nair would be.