Being born an Indian means inheriting a big book of rules, principles and society norms as soon as we are born. We are taught from an early age that our behaviour reflects our family’s reputation and status, to listen and obey is considered a sign of goodness, to compromise and sustain a bad relationship is considered our duty. We worship unseen deities, but we do not stand by our promises or help others. We watch and enjoy romantic movies but we reprimand our children when they bring forth the topic of choosing their partners. Love doesn’t exist in our books, only responsibility, duty and honour does.
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I often wonder why we aren’t given this freedom to choose. We pontificate about our country’s greatness, about its long struggle to attain freedom and yet every day, every moment we deny our children some of their basic rights. We expect our daughters to stay happily in their husband’s house, we expect them to have children, even when they may not be ready, we don’t mind handing over our daughter’s life to a stranger, yet we have a problem if she goes out with her friends and comes back a little later than usual. If we can trust a stranger to look after our daughter, then why can’t we trust our daughters to look after themselves?
I often wonder why we aren’t given this freedom to choose. We pontificate about our country’s greatness, about its long struggle to attain freedom and yet every day, every moment we deny our children some of their basic rights. We expect our daughters to stay happily in their husband’s house, we expect them to have children, even when they may not be ready, we don’t mind handing over our daughter’s life to a stranger, yet we have a problem if she goes out with her friends and comes back a little later than usual. If we can trust a stranger to look after our daughter, then why can’t we trust our daughters to look after themselves?
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Why are we still drawing Lakshman -Rekhas around our children’s choices? Why can’t we allow them to explore their own world, make mistakes and get up on their own? Why do we always dictate and force our choices on them?
If a woman goes to night clubs, she becomes a slut. . If she drinks, she is someone who has no principles, If she rebels, she is a feminist. If she wears western outfits, she’s trying to seduce men. If her husband cheats on her, it’s because she doesn’t give him what he needs. Sex before marriage is a crime and after marriage a necessity! For every big and small action of hers, the society gives her a new name, a new title by which she will be addressed.
Why are we still drawing Lakshman -Rekhas around our children’s choices? Why can’t we allow them to explore their own world, make mistakes and get up on their own? Why do we always dictate and force our choices on them?
If a woman goes to night clubs, she becomes a slut. . If she drinks, she is someone who has no principles, If she rebels, she is a feminist. If she wears western outfits, she’s trying to seduce men. If her husband cheats on her, it’s because she doesn’t give him what he needs. Sex before marriage is a crime and after marriage a necessity! For every big and small action of hers, the society gives her a new name, a new title by which she will be addressed.
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Our hypocrisy is appalling. On one hand, we teach our children to respect others, on the other we disrespect our maids and staff right in front of them. Maybe the Indian definition of respect should be, “A feeling of admiration towards someone who is of your class and status or above”, because even now, a person’s birth, his bank balance and his pedigree stand before the strength his character.
Our hypocrisy is appalling. On one hand, we teach our children to respect others, on the other we disrespect our maids and staff right in front of them. Maybe the Indian definition of respect should be, “A feeling of admiration towards someone who is of your class and status or above”, because even now, a person’s birth, his bank balance and his pedigree stand before the strength his character.
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Let us teach our children to be just like us, because even though we may be unhappy with our lives, we must pretend to be perfect because at the end of the day, to keep up appearances matters more than reality.
Sandra is a student, an amateur writer, reader, dreamer, shopaholic and the list goes on and on. She loves long walks on the beach and waking up to a wonderful breakfast, visiting new places and meeting new people. In short she likes every thing in life that is not black and white. Admires people who lead their life differently,who look beyond the obvious and seek to live their life according to their convictions, at their own pace and in their own time. She blogs at http://www.fortheperfectionistinme.blogspot.in
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my thoughts, precisely. well done, loved it.
totally agreed Sandra..