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I guess, that day comes in every person’s life when they have to utter the words–‘It’s gonna be all right’. Four words that are supposed to heal a broken heart, give it hope and encourage it to move on. If only, that was so easy! I’ve used this line countless times with friends, parents and sometimes even myself. Some days I find myself looking at the mirror and reiterating this, just so that the pain would stop.

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 Pain. It’s the most hated emotion, isn’t it? All our lives, our loved ones try to shield us from it just so  the wicked emotion doesn’t  target us, but it’s been playing this game long before you and I were born, it knows the rules and loopholes too well. Sooner or later it gets you or to you, strikes like a virus at an unexpected time. When my grandmother passed away in 2006, I tried to be wise and told myself, that I would be stoic. How silly of me to underestimate the power of pain! Every time it struck, I found myself exactly in the same state I vowed I would never to be in. Vulnerable and full of grief.
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However with time, I am getting better at the game, The biggest mistake I made while playing, was that I thought pain had degrees and types and was different  in different situations, Now I understand that it’s all the same.  I had thought that by losing the  most important person in my life,  I had endured the maximum that I had to.  That now I would be stronger and would face life with more strength, but what I didn’t realize was that, every time something bad happened, all the bad memories would come back  to try and break me.
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It took me ages to make peace with pain. Not that now I have a magical cure to erase pain. I still breakdown when things don’t go my way but somehow I’ve realized that pain in your life doesn’t make you stronger. What pain actually does is to make you kind, understanding and sensible. It teaches you to be compassionate. Have you ever noticed that the warmest hugs are received when you’re upset, that a random stranger is tearing up just watching you cry, that foes can sometimes be best of friends in times of distress? Because sorrow has no ego, there’s only emptiness that another person’s presence can fill. Some days I don’t want to wake up, don’t want to face the world, but then I almost see a smirk on pain’s face as if to tell me,’Haven’t you gotten used to this yet?’ I  don’t think I ever will, nor will we ever stop playing. Pain and I.  Until death do us part . And so I rise to meet another day.

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Sandra is a student, an amateur writer, reader, dreamer and the list goes on and on. She loves long walks on the beach and waking up to a wonderful breakfast, visiting  new places and meeting new people. In short she likes every thing in life that is not black and white. Admires people who lead their life differently,who look beyond the obvious and seek to live their life according to their convictions, at their own pace and in  their own time. She blogs at http://www.fortheperfectionistinme.blogspot.in