Unboxed Writers App for Phone and Tablet

Here are more ways to stay at forefront of Unboxed Writers and stay informed and inspired! Download our app for Android Phones and Tablets. Click on the image to Download Now!


Justice

Like Us on Facebook

Follow Us on Twitter

 

Archives

Cattitude: Cause We Support

Cattitude!

The Cattitude Trust is a Public Charitable Trust started to reach out to cats in distress, particularly in Chennai (India).

To know more about Cattitude, 'Like' them on Facebook.

Copyright

Creative Commons License
All content displayed here by Unboxed Writers is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at http://unboxedwriters.com.

Excerpt, Don't Copy: You may not publish an entire post. You may republish an excerpt of not increasing 250 words.

Give Credit: You may not use any material from our site without giving due credit to the individual author and Unboxed Writers. You must hyperlink directly to the post.

Author: Author of the post retains all copyright, and reserves all rights not explicitly granted here.

Her Five Year Old Self

download (2)

Once there was a little girl who was perfect in every way. Beautiful, smart, loving and kind. Her parents loved her until their next child arrived and then the next and the next. Before she knew it she had to grow up and take care of herself all at the age of five. And when it got a little crowded at home guess who got shipped off to boarding school?

**

She tried so hard to please them. Got straight As and excelled at everything she did. But it was never enough. Rejection was just around the corner. Emotional abandonment was an eerie shadow that she couldn’t shake off. When she wanted to follow her dreams and go to college, there was no money.

**
She was nothing but a financial burden, dispensable . An expenditure and never an asset. Shy and introverted, she had few friends. Yet one man peered into her eyes and saw the beauty of her soul. He married her and they left the town she grew up in to begin their new life together, away from the daily drama (or so she thought). Her parents found a way to stir up fights between the newly weds. But she vowed never to be like them – a loveless, bickering couple only kept together because of their similar devious minds. She swore to rise above it and win the love of her husband.

**

She dreaded their every visit. Old hurts would surface, age old dramas would be played out endlessly. They somehow knew how to play the victims or the underdogs. Several times she rushed in to save them from their own spiraling plots. But she failed. They were in too deep. She finally retreated to her corner of the world and tried to shut them out. But that proved futile. Their life was part of the tapestry of her life. Pulling those threads out would leave a gaping hole in her life. Leaving those ugly designs ruined the rest of the beautifully crafted tapestry. Guilt consumed her – How could she even contemplate cutting them off?

**

And yet they yielded such control over her. In front of them she was a little five year old – shipped off to boarding school while everyone else got to stay. Who sobbed herself to sleep every night. Who never felt she was good enough and was often ashamed of her existence. She finally stumbled on the solution. She didn’t have to cut out the designs. She just had to stitch another design over it. If her parents couldn’t nurture her inner five year old, she would!

**

I love you, you are perfect and I am so proud of you. I will never leave you. abandon you or reject you and it’s not your fault. You are free to pursue your heart’s desires without fear. You are free to be yourself, instead of what others think you ought to be. She said these words over and over until she felt like a huge burden was lifted off her chest. She sighed long and hard in relief. Something changed and she couldn’t put her finger on it.

**

Slowly the drama surrounding their visits ended. She saw it for what it was and refused to get sucked into it. She realized that maybe her parents never got the nurturing they deserved. So she stepped up and started being the elder instead of the five year old. Instead of constantly seeking their approval and attention (unconsciously) she offered her sage advice and help whenever she could. But the poor fools were beyond redemption. They found new ways to exclude her and punish her. She hugged her inner child tightly every time it happened and whispered – “I love you” softly to her.

**

Slowly she saw the ugly designs fade and when she was ready she stitched the words – Honor Thy Parents on it. If ever she sprouted wings and could fly heavenward she would lift them off the ground and take them with her. In her heart she said – Forgive them for they know not what they are doing.

**

Damayanti Chandrasekhar lives in Florida with her husband and two children,  loves yoga, baking and the Tao. She has a Masters degree in Journalism and currently volunteers at the local public school.  Her other interests include reading, travelling and playing agony aunt via her blogwww.punctuatelife.com.

Similar posts
  • Memories Of Doon’s Magical Monsoon Moments of truth. Everybody has one or maybe several. So it is with times of inspiration. Everybody has that reference of sight, smell, sound, touch, feeling or piece of imagination that inspires. For me, one of the strongest times of inspiration is when the sky opens to pour its heart out in a manner unrestrained and unabashed. [...]
  • Estranged   The blood they shed in your name in my name in our name runs in the veins of this country as the music of Baba Allauddin Abdul Kareem Khan saheb Amir Khusrau Ustad Amir Khan Begum Akhtar Ustad Bismillah Khan and so many who sang of Ram and Allah of your heart, my spirit [...]
  • Bahadur- The First Ever Indian Superhero   Indrajal Comics (IJC) was launched by leading Indian publisher Bennett, Coleman & Co in March 1964. The first 32 issues contained Lee Falk’s The Phantom stories, but thereafter, the title alternated between various King Features characters, including Mandrake and Flash Gordon. At Bennett, Coleman & Co the editor at that time was Anand Jain [...]
  • The Right Moment Will Never Come How many times have you put off doing stuff just because the conditions weren’t as perfect as you wanted them to be? For the longest time I have wanted to do a yoga teacher training(YTT). I looked up several classes in the area. I looked up schedules and everything but always felt like it was a lot [...]
  • Mussoorie And Landour: The Literary Connection The twin towns of Mussoorie and Landour are famed for their scenic beauty and the rare winter line phenomenon. However, not many people know that they have a rich literary heritage and highest density of authors anywhere in the world. While Landour is home to many writers, the most well-known being Ruskin Bond, who shifted [...]

No Comments Yet

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Our Authors

Be the first to read the latest on Unboxed Writers!

Subscribe for FREE and get the latest in your Inbox! You can unsubscribe at any time.
Name
Email *

Admins

Editor & Founder:
Reema Moudgil
Design Director & Founder:
Vani Bahl
Media Consultant:
Poonam Goel

Mission Statement

Who are we? We are writers. And here, in this space, we put pride and passion back into writing. We give ourselves and each other creative freedom and respect.

* We create an environment where content generation does not entail degeneration of inspiration and spirit.
* We create content that we believe in and identify with.
* We recognise that to create is always of more value than to berate.
*We critique without malice and arrogance.

This site is about us writers, what we stand for but more importantly, about creating something valuable, inclusive, thought-provoking. In this space, we do not just stand for ourselves but for all those who listen to a compelling inner voice that tells them, "Create!"

Unboxed Writers Share

Join the other awesome people who get the new posts right away by email!
Be the first to read the latest on Unboxed Writers.
Enter your email and stay on top of things!

Subscribe!