How can pain be forced to move down

Away from the eyes

So that it’s just a burning hole in my stomach?

How shall I stave all thoughts

of her voice

As she peremptorily

Walks in the house

Bell a-jingling

Down the spiral staircase

From the neighbour’s roofs,

the driveway

In through the gate

Rusty self glistening

in the winter sunlight

Head high

Tail high?

“Is there any good way to look at this?”

asks the other angel of our home

And unformed words about

attachment

about

her good

uncompromising life

tumble out

I often said

She was an urban princess

Queen of the rooftops

Duchess of our lane

Country living

wouldn’t be her scene

But now

I ache to take her there

When she passes on

Plant her beneath

the lemon tree

in the lap of her mother

“She was Laddu’s gift to us”

the angel, again

“How can we let her go?”

Our Kiara kitten

My eyes don’t

handle tears

with any skill

Tomorrow I have to perform.

2.15  am

Good thoughts:

She caught a mouse

two days ago,

And a first,

We said

“Good cat”.

She rumble-purred

on Challam

three days ago.

Boss-mama of the dogs

Forever and ever.

Daughter

of a sainted Dog.

Rumtumtugger

to the neighbour’s

Skimbleshanks.

Kiara, oh

my darling

Morning Cat.

“Sorry Muma…

Why?

“Cause I know

how much

you love her”

…..

Keep the pain on simmer

I’m performing tomorrow.

There’ll be time

after.

Note from the author:

Kiara was our cat. She lived for 11 years. She first came to us, one Sunday morning, as a tiny mite that our Labrador Laddu rescued – she had either been abandoned or fallen out of her mother’s litter. Her eyes were barely open, she was that tiny. We took her to CUPA where they told us there wasn’t much chance of survival without mother’s milk. We took her home anyway thinking that we’d try feeding her with an ink filler and see what happens. A week later to the day, we noticed Kiara suckling on Laddu’s teats. Laddu had never littered, so I thought it was just for warmth or solace. I poked on her teat just to check and out came a spurt of milk! Thus legend was made and Laddu lactated and nursed Kiara into the adored cat of our household.

But the point I wish to make – Feline CRF or Chronic Renal failure is very quiet and really creeps up on you. Our vet told us that cats, unlike dogs, will show no signs of illness or dehydration till very late. So do a blood test when your cat is 10 years old, don’t wait longer and keep an eye on its creatinine and BUN. This is really critical and will make a difference of a few years of good living.

Also, homeopathy has very good remedies and aids when an animal is dying. We used Rescue Remedy and OP 200 for Kiara and she just slipped away from us on the day of the lunar eclipse – Saturday 10th, 2011.  There is plenty of online assistance about feline CRF, here are two we used.

www.felinecrf.com/

www.felinecrf.org/obtaining_supplies_cheaply.htm

Kirtana Kumar is an actor and film maker. She is the director of Little Jasmine – a theatre and film production company, & Theatre Lab – a year long theatre program for children. She runs an artists retreat called Infinite Souls along with Konarak Reddy. She has directed several documentaries, including a film on child sexual abuse (CSA). She has organised workshops on the issue of CSA for various NGOs, schools and colleges. She has been involved in promoting theatre activism in marginalized areas including a memorable project that had her developing Magnet Theatre among high risk groups in Manipur, rural Andhra Pradesh, Belgaum and Sanjay Gandhi Transport Nagar. She blogs at http://infinitesoulsfarmandartistsretreat.blogspot.com/