I read Fifty Shades of Grey yesterday. According to wiki (and because I cannot be bothered to think of new ways to say the same things): Fifty Shades of Grey is a 2011 erotic novel by British author E. L. James. Set largely in Seattle, it is the first instalment in a trilogy that traces the deepening relationship between a college graduate, Anastasia Steele, and a young business magnate, Christian Grey. It is notable for its explicitly erotic scenes…

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Like I said, I read it yesterday, and now I shall go and bang my head against a wall, in the earnest hope that the resultant damage will drain off any vestige of memory. I shall also write,”‘Just because it is part of a trilogy, it does not make it a must read” – 500 times. Following that, I will build a shrine for my Nora Roberts collection. Only then shall I go and grovel at the feet of my very smart husband who tsked over the buy. Maybe then he shall see it fit to renegotiate my monthly book budget.

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It is not even a particularly bad story, just your typical beautiful innocent girl meets rich guy with dark past, they fall in lust and so on. It is not badly written. It is just that it is such a regular book and all the hoopla around it made me think it was going to be an exceptional read. The let down is massive. I never thought I could go so wrong with a book. Oh well, whom am I kidding. I am probably one of the two people who went and brought El Dorado by Seema Seth. I have read my share of Mills and Boons and other syrupy novels and there have been many I have liked, really liked. I have read my share of books that have made me want to commit murder using a rusted blade.  50 Shades is no different; I just cannot seem to find my trusty rusty anywhere… must have left it in the last cadaver. Some joker has coined the term ‘mummy porn’ to describe the book. I am going to have to dedicate a separate post for what that particular person can do with his fancy name coining abilities.

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Maybe I should really not spend so much time at flipkart.com. All in all, I have just two things to say about the whole experience, blah. 50 times over.

Uma Iyer is a writer, a mother and a freelance consultant for marketing communication to several organisations. She was raised in Mumbai and currently lives in Delhi. Her retirement plan includes two dogs, many books and a shack by the sea.


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